Predicted ascension did not materialize.Earth operational throughout. No downtime recorded.
False alarm
Souls Ascended
0
in the last 24 hours
Current Rapture Status
No. The Rapture has not yet occurred.
You are still here. So is everyone else. Our instruments detect no mass ascension events at this time. We are watching the skies on your behalf.
Last verified just now · re-checking the heavens in 5s
Earthly Population
8.1B
currently accounted for, fully intact
Days Awaiting Deliverance
—
and counting, patiently
Threat / Promise Level
Imminent
it has been imminent since AD 33
Reserve your place in advance.
Why scramble during the chaos? Confirm your attendance now and we'll hold a spot among the elect. Non-binding. Mostly.
Results not guaranteed · RSVP does not constitute a binding theological commitment
Subject to availability of grace · Trumpet not included
Incident History — no ascensions reported
May 21, 2011
Dec 21, 2012
Scheduled end of the world. Did not arrive.Calendar simply continued. Investigation closed.
False alarm
Sep 23, 2017
Anticipated celestial alignment. Aligned uneventfully.All souls remained planet-side. No action required.
False alarm
≈ AD 33
Last confirmed ascension event.Limited attendance. Has not recurred since. We remain on standby.
Resolved